


The Eighth Heroine Corpse, Ghirahim Yuga Vaati Ganon

by EvolutionOfAnIcicle



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Breath of the Wild Sequel Trailer, Caves, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26990995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvolutionOfAnIcicle/pseuds/EvolutionOfAnIcicle
Summary: Excited at the prospect, Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman sits up to look for accessories. Unfortunately, he’s immediately blocked by the  glowing hand that remained upon his chest. It seems to almost ooze over with smugness at his position beneath it.Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman stops and stares at the hand, huffing out an agitated breath before going limp and returning to his usual sulking.Inspired by shenanigans on the LU discord.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	The Eighth Heroine Corpse, Ghirahim Yuga Vaati Ganon

Hyrule Castle’s foundation begins to tremble and shake and just about everyone within twenty miles turns and stares as it rises above where it used to rest on the ground. As it finally settles into place in its new position, many are already contemplating what could have caused this shift. What treasures can be found within the secrets under the castle?

None of them were expecting it to be a desiccated skeleton of a corpse, that’s for sure. As Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman sulks in the darkness of the passages, he can’t help but seethe at the pure stupidity of the heroes of the past. How they’ve wronged him in all his aspects. How they always seem to pop up, one after another, so strike him down right when he’s about to make it big.

Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman grumbles once again at the phosphorescent blue-green hand holding him down by the chest. Maybe this time if he's extra menacing, it’ll finally let up. Four billionth time’s the charm, as Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman likes to think.

Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman glowers at the damned hand with all the malice he can conjure, but to no avail - its talons remain firmly clasped upon his pectoral muscles.

Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman frowns. This long without a trip to the gym surely can’t be good for his definition. Perhaps the glowing yellow eyes will make up for it? It’s certainly a different look than what he had originally planned for with this comeback, but he’s rocked so many looks back in his days of glory, so Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman is sure he can figure it out.

Hmmmm.

Well, with the right accessories, he’ll be able to transform the withered bones from pathetic to creepy easily! He can just add some golden jewelry with the right color of gemstones and he’ll surely be able to capture the image of ‘ancient mummy coming to curse you.’

Excited at the prospect, Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman sits up to look for accessories. Unfortunately, he’s immediately blocked by the glowing hand that remained upon his chest. It seems to almost ooze over with smugness at his position beneath it. Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman stops and stares at the hand, huffing out an agitated breath before going limp and returning to his usual sulking.

In one last attempt at rebellion, Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman tries to flex his nonexistent pectoral muscles at it. As expected, nothing happens. He tries his biceps. Again, nothing.

Abs. Triceps. Laterals. Calves. Thighs. Glutes. Pecs again. Biceps again. All nothing.

No muscle is to be found in his body, unfortunately. That’s just what happens when you rot away beneath a castle for ten thousand years without working out, you know?

Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman sighs again and lets his mind drift to better times. He used to have six-pack abs and arms to die for. Many had, in fact. (This was achieved through torturous dehydration before his scheduled intimidation tactics, but no one has to know that. Keep it on the down low, will ya?)

As he had many times before, Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman once again decides that he’ll resign himself to the zombie aesthetic. Tomorrow, though. Until then, he dream dream about his days as King and of buffness.

**Author's Note:**

> deleted scene bonus:
> 
> _By the way, Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkyboomboommanmajorazantskullkidmenacinglizarddinkhyliademisesamhappymasksalesmantingleimpagroosenavitatletaelbeedlemaloooccoosheerowkaeporalink‘s a bit long for a name, isn’t it? You can just call him Ghirayugavaatiganoncorpsedownfallduoeighthheroinelegendsparkysparkyboomman. It’ll be easier on all of us._


End file.
